Synopsis
In this hilarious and action-packed Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime, young Jack must climb the beanstalk, rescue his beloved Jill, and save the village of Upper Beanstalk… all while trying to reclaim his prized cow, Pat. After all, when Jack and Jill went up the hill, no one expected a kidnapping. Certainly not by a Giant!
With classic characters like the larger-than-life pantomime dame Tilly Trott, the daft but lovable Silly Simon, and the suspiciously sly Fleshcreep (and his feisty sidekick Spinach), this panto is bursting with comedy, chaos, and dairy jokes aplenty. Can Fairy Evergreen work her magic and help Jack save the day—or will Giant Butternut have the last laugh?
Packed with audience participation, groan-worthy gags, and toe-tapping songs, Jack and the Beanstalk is a towering panto treat for all ages. It’s guaranteed to be an udderly brilliant show!
Roles
9 Speaking Roles + Ensemble
- Jack Trott Tilly Trott’s son and Principal Boy, loves Jill.
- Silly Simon Comic. Jack’s brother.
- Tilly Trott Dame. Poor woman who owns a dairy farm.
- Jill Crumble Princess. Brave and strong. Daughter of King Crumble, loves Jack.
- King Crumble Jill’s father. A weak ruler easily lead.
- Fleshcreep Villain. A sly, sneaking type. Reports to Giant Butternut.
- Spinach Fleshcreep’s fiesty, but little, assistant.
- Fairy Evergreen The happy and helpful farming fairy.
- Pat the Cow The Trotts’ cow.
- Giant Butternut Ensemble. The evil giant in the sky. Can be physical or voice only.
- Villagers Ensemble.
- The People in the Sky Ensemble.
- Mayor of Cloudland Ensemble. In charge of the people in the sky.
Jack and the Beanstalk Pantomime Script Extract
TILLY Hello gang!
(Audience reaction.)
SIMON Remind me again why we have to try and milk Pat even more.
TILLY The giant wants milk for his cereal, pronto, or we’ll all be toast.
SIMON Why can’t he just milk one of the giant cows in the sky?
TILLY Don’t be so silly Simon. Cows don’t live in the sky.
(KING CRUMBLE enters having made his way through the farmyard.)
KING C. What a brilliant bunch of cows.
TILLY Not a bunch, a herd.
KING C. Heard of what?
TILLY Herd of cows.
KING C. Of course I’ve heard of cows.
TILLY Don’t you care about a cow heard?
KING C. What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!
SIMON Did you see the cow with three legs?
KING C. I did. Does she have a name?
TILLY Lean beef.
SIMON Did you see the cow with a high IQ and a first class degree from Cambridge?
KING C. How can you tell she’s got a high IQ and a first class degree from Cambridge?
TILLY She’s outstanding in her field.
SIMON Did you see the cow that doesn’t have any ears.
KING C. I did, poor thing. What happened to her?
TILLY She’s moo-te. Now you heard that Fleshcreep. It’s time to get milking.
KING C. What am I doing here.
TILLY I decided if you’re being forced to demolish our house, at least you can try and help us save it.
SIMON Okay, what’s first?
